Introduction

Some journeys through life are marked by pain, loss, and struggle. Others, by resilience, transformation, and healing. For Ben, his path has been a mix of both—a life shaped by trauma, addiction, and survival, but also a profound journey toward hope, self-discovery, and spirituality.

In this raw and honest conversation, Ben shares his experiences with ibogaine treatment for addiction, his struggles with substance abuse, and the lessons he’s learned along the way. Guided by Jemie, a psychedelic therapy practitioner, this dialogue explores the power of healing trauma through psychedelics, the weight of past trauma, and the importance of psychedelic therapy integration in finding purpose in a world that often feels unforgiving.

A Childhood Marked by Trauma

Jemie: Ben, where would you like to start today?

Ben: I’d like to share with you my experience with ibogaine treatment. But first, I need to explain what led me there.

I had a nightmare childhood. My parents had me kidnapped and sent to the Caribbean. I was tortured. They had me in military school, then boot camp, and eventually, I was literally taken in chains on a plane to what was basically a juvenile concentration camp. There was so much suffering there.

Jemie: That’s heartbreaking, Ben. Were you part of one of those teen behavior modification programs?

Ben: Yeah. If you’ve seen the Netflix documentary Hell Camp: Teen Nightmare, that’s exactly what I went through. These programs started in the ’70s and ’80s for so-called “rebellious” teens. If you were a kid who thought for yourself, questioned authority, or didn’t fit into the mold your parents wanted, they’d send you away. And once you were there… it was hell.

Jemie: That level of trauma — it doesn’t just disappear.

Ben: No, it doesn’t. When I got out, I had so much anger. I wanted to hurt people. But instead, I just ended up destroying myself with drugs.

Ibogaine: Facing the Past, Seeing the Future

Jemie: So how did you first hear about ibogaine treatment?

Ben: I’ve been addicted to opiates for a long time. I first heard about microdosing and Ibogaine years ago on YouTube, but I never had the money to do it. Then, when my addiction got really bad, I knew I needed something drastic. I started researching clinics and came across Experience Ibogaine in Mexico.

Jemie: So you finally made the decision to go. And what was the experience like with Ibogaine?

Ben: It was like my entire life flashed before my eyes. I saw myself as a kid, learning the alphabet. I saw how I developed my beliefs about the world—how I thought about my country, my family, my place in it all.

And then… I saw the people I had lost.

Jemie: Who did you see?

Ben: My best friend. He died in my house, in my arms. Right before I went to prison. His girlfriend had just had an abortion—it was her second one—and he was depressed. He came over, we got high… and when I came out of the bathroom, he was gone.

I didn’t even get to go to his funeral. I was completely removed from the world.

Jemie: That’s an unimaginable weight to carry.

Ben: Yeah. And I had to sit with it for years. In prison, I had dream after dream about him. About what happened. About what could have happened. I’d spiral into all these thoughts—what if his brothers blamed me? What if one day they came after me for revenge?

And then, during my Ibogaine trip, I saw it all again. But this time, I saw the full picture—past, present, future. I saw the situations that did happen, but also the ones that didn’t. And I realized… I had been torturing myself with possibilities that never even came true.

Breaking the Cycle of Addiction

Jemie: That’s profound. Did ibogaine treatment help you move past it?

Ben: It helped. But getting off opiates is never easy. It’s not like you take Ibogaine and suddenly everything is perfect. You have to be dedicated to the process of detoxification. Otherwise, you’ll slip back.

Jemie: And have you?

Ben: Yeah. I had five years clean. And then I relapsed for a little over a year. That year was enough for me to see that if I didn’t do something, I was going to lose everything. I had built a business, I had a life, and I was watching it spiral out of control. I wasn’t willing to throw it all away.

From the Streets to Stability

Jemie: What does work look like for you?

Ben: I have a dog business—breeding and selling French bulldogs. I love them. They’ve been a real anchor for me. But I’ve been struggling financially, and I need to sell some puppies to get back on my feet.

Jemie: What put you in the financial hole? Was it the addiction?

Ben: Not directly. It’s what comes with it. You lose customers, you lose focus, your attitude changes. And then… street stuff happens.

A Call to Purpose

Jemie: Ben, after everything you’ve been through, what do you feel called to do next?

Ben: I think I need to tell my story. I need to figure out how—maybe a podcast, maybe videos. But I know I can help people.

Jemie: Yes! Your story could resonate with so many people seeking holistic healing, psychedelic-assisted therapy for PTSD, and mental health breakthroughs with psychedelic support.

Ben: Yeah, I just need to figure out how. I want people to understand me. I want people who’ve been through similar things to know they’re not alone.

Faith, Service, and Moving Forward

Ben: I’m really grateful for our conversation. Because when two people come together and talk about God, about purpose, about healing… we’re doing what we’re supposed to be doing.

God’s always watching. And I know that when I do things that don’t serve me—or serve God—I feel it. I physically feel it. That’s why I know I need to focus on the right things.

Jemie: I invite you to keep bringing that intention forward. Keep calling in the right people, the right opportunities.

Ben: That’s the goal. Financial freedom—not just for the money, but so I can serve. So I can help people.

Jemie: And that’s exactly why you’re still here.

Conclusion

Ben is still navigating the challenges of the present and the hopes for his future. But through using psychedelics for emotional healing, faith, and a deep desire to serve, he’s stepping into a new chapter—one where his story might just help save someone else.

Because when you heal, you start to heal all those around you.